《带着爸爸去留学》:父母的自我牺牲恰恰是孩子成长最大的绊脚石

时间:2019-07-26 来源:www.feijiazhuang.com

Since the launch, the controversial TV series《带着爸爸去留学》is about to usher in the finale. "Study abroad" is not the core of this drama. It is the background of studying abroad, and it is the focus of the conflict between two generations. Original intention. Today, Whale also wants to talk to you about the parent-child relationship presented in the play.

1

"Child, you are my future"

Dr. Huang Chengdong, who cares about his father in the play, can be described as practicing martial arts. He has taken care of his son’s clothes, food and shelter. "You are slower," "please make some water," and "come black." Always pay attention to whether your son is hungry or thirsty. He is like a "sports babysitter."

After going through the campus shootings, it is even more inseparable, personal protection, followed by his son Huang Xiaodong to school, school, class, basketball, ready to fight for his son.

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Aunt Ruo Ruoyu gave her son a read, gave up her domestic work and life, and changed from a good brain surgeon to a full-time accompanying mother. In eight years, she trapped herself in a foreign house. She was originally a knife outside her brain. Now she has a fixed task every day, that is, laundry and cooking, taking care of her son and boarding students. She has a very classic saying, "Son, you are my future."

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Zhu Lusha’s parents are probably the most unpleasant parent role in the whole drama. They have a family and sell their houses for their children to study abroad. When their children cry and can’t adapt to their foreign life, they still say, “Our family depends on you to change their destiny. ".

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Parents who regard their children as the focus of their lives, lose their self, dedication to themselves, and pave the way for their children not only exist in TV dramas, but in real life such parents abound.

There was a survey report that showed:

xx82%的父母愿意为孩子的成功做出牺牲;

超过三分之一的中国父母完全失去了个人时间,特别是母亲。

为了为孩子的未来铺平道路,他们可以省钱买学区,租房子到学校附近租房子,甚至可以继续保持婚姻没有感情。每年高考后,离婚率都会有一段快速上升的时期,而父母的自我牺牲背后也是如此。

2

“爱太沉重,我买不起”

那些被父母照顾的孩子怎么样?在父母的心中,他们应该感恩和满足,但他们实际感受到的是压迫。

在剧中,黄晓东感激不尽,因为父亲的不可分离被同学嘲笑为“爸爸宝”,被篮球场管理员抨击。

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朱鲁莎一次又一次地哭着说:“我也很累。”这真的只是没有疾病,没有感情吗?

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陈凯文和他的母亲是针锋相对的。这不是一种抵抗吗?

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着名心理学家曾启峰在《幻想即现实》中说,

不那么父母的人会让自己痛苦不堪。他们会对孩子说:对你来说,我不愿意吃饭,不愿意穿,绝望的工作,等等。

服从片断。

不断强调你的贡献是“自我牺牲”父母的共同问题,这对孩子来说是无形的束缚和压力。他们会因为没有达到父母的满意而有罪。他们会失去自我和自我怀疑,成为父母的牵线木偶,因为他们试图压制自己的愿望。

3

Parents don't give up on self-growth, it is the best education for their children

On the one hand, the parents who devote themselves to paving the way for their children, and the children who are trying to break free from bondage and desire to grow up independently, the parent-child relationship is like a spring, the harder the force, the greater the reaction.

Everyone is a novice on the road, and only when parents continue to grow up themselves can they achieve the common growth of two generations.

In the late 1990s, the US Department of Education launched a project called “Longitudinal Studies in Early Childhood”. After a number of research and interviews, they got a set of data that summed up the factors that were highly correlated with their child's academic performance and came to a conclusion:

"

What kind of people are parents themselves, far more than what they do to their children, and which educational methods are used, can affect children.

The continuous learning and self-growth of parents is the best education for their children. It is better to teach people to fish than to give people a fish. After all, no one can accompany their children for a lifetime, and bring good living attitudes and study habits to children through words and deeds. It is the only thing parents can do for their children.

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Just like in the class of the whale class, the foreign teacher never puts the answer directly in front of the child. They will guide the child to find the answer step by step. They provide ways of thinking and learning methods, and these are the benefits for the child. In the education of children, teachers and parents are only able to influence their future through the guidance of value and the teaching of methods, but it is unwise to completely lose themselves in order to control the future.

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